Surrender

Kevin and I went to Wreck Beach one afternoon. It was a welcome escape from the opressiveness of Jason. We smoked a couple of joints, ate some delicious sandwiches and let the sun melt all the stress from our bones.

After a while it got too hot so we decided to go swimming. I started floating, and Kevin said “ummm, I can’t float. When I try I just sink and choke”

What?!?! This was a guy whose was on a champion swim team!

I thought for a while, and then said “You have to surrender yourself to the ocean.”

He looked at me strangely and asked what I meant.

“Surrender! Give your body to the ocean and let it support you”

He laughed and yelled “I SURRENDER!” and flopped onto his back, where he floated like a piece of driftwood.

I smiled to myself and lay back, letting Kali Ma envelope me in her warm embrace. I bobbed up and down through the waves, eyes closed, secure in the knowledge that my beloved Kali would never let me come to any harm in her waters.

Suddenly everything seemed to go black. I lost all sense of myself, of time, of up and down. Massive amounts of energy surrounded and vibrated through me. After an unknown amount of time I opened my eyes with a gasp, and stood up with a sputter.

My body felt like melted butter, it was all I could do to get to shore and stagger back to our blanket where I collapsed with a gasp. Kevin flopped down beside me, and our eyes met, an I knew he had had the same experience.

“What the hell was THAT?!?” he asked

I shrugged and lay back with a sigh, energy still vibrating through my body. It felt like 10,000 volts of electricity had shot through me, leaving my body weak and helpless.

We rested for a while until we had the strength to climb the stairs. We didn’t speak, we didn’t need to. We were connected on the same vibration level.

We made it back to the car and happily collapsed into our seats. For the rest of the day, we were weak and disoriented. The world didn’t seem real, all the colors were too bright and objects appeared strangely shaped.

I still don’t know what happened that day, but it was something Kevin and I shared always.