Archive for July, 2009

Singing and Poetry Albums

Posted in Day-to-Day with tags , , , , on July 20, 2009 by killinggame

Just spent an hour and a half doing vocal exercises with my lessons software.  Learning how to sing from chest, mixed, and head, and how to move smoothly between.  How to shorten and lengthen your vocal cords, and how to lower your larynx.

Scales after scales using liprolls, trills, humming, vowel sounds, sustaining notes etc.  Working on vibratto right now.  My range has already increased!

I decided to put together an album of my poetry.  I downloaded some amazing software, I’ve got my microphone, I’m ready to go.  I’m going to underlay it with music and cool effects.  Then I’m going to upload it to Jamendo.com which is a very cool site for people to upload all their work for free sharing and downloading.  This will be fun once I figure out this confounding mixing program.

Memories of you and your final farewell

Posted in Life, Sad, Stories with tags , , , on July 18, 2009 by killinggame

Begging you to not go out because if you did he would abuse me.  You never listened.  You said I was going through an “attachment phase”.

Running to you after Sarah’s funeral.  You shoved me away and I fell backwards onto the ground.

Spending Christmas with a foster family, missing you, while you went through your hell in the psych ward from losing your other daughter.

Teaching me to read by 3, always impressing the importance of books upon me.

Taking me back to the playground where a boy 5 years older had hit me, and slapping the hell out of him.

Spanking the hell out of ME with a wooden spoon, because I was a little kleptomaniac in Kindergarten and Grade 1.

You always shying away when I tried to cuddle.  You were never comfortable with physical affection.  You said you never had the maternal instinct.

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A new series of stories

Posted in Paranormal/Supernatural with tags , , , on July 18, 2009 by killinggame

Ok I’ll stop subjecting everyone to my out of control libido and mark the entries private from now on :)

I have so many stories swirling around in my head, but I decided I’m going to write a series of Paranormal/Spiritual/Supernatural stories.  I call these stories, but they are TRUE stories of my life.  And do I ever have a lot of  stories in this field!

I’ll start with a basic rundown of my beliefs, some techniques, and then the experiences.  Should be fun :)

My munchkin will be here any minute so I’ll write some more later.

The Lovers

Posted in Poetry, sex on July 17, 2009 by killinggame

She is about to come.  This time,
they are sitting up, joined below the belly,
feet cupped like hands praying
at the base of each others spines.
And when something lifts within her
toward a light she’s sure, once again
she can’t bear, she opens her eyes
and sees his face is turned away
one arm behind him, hand splayed
palm down on the mattress, to brace himself
so he can lever his hips, touch
with the bright tip the innermost spot.
And she finds she can’t bear it -
not his beautiful neck, stretched and corded,
not his hair fallen to one side like beach grass,
not the thin curve of his ear, washed thin
with daylight, deep pink of the inner body -
What she can’t bear is that she can’t see his face,
not that she thinks this exactly – she is rocking
and breathing – it’s more her body’s thought,
opening, as it is, into its own sheet truth.
So that when her hand lifts of her own volition
and slaps him, twice on the chest,
on that pad of muscled flesh just above the nipple,
slaps him twice, fast, like a nursing child
trying to get a mother’s attention,
she’s startled by the sound,
though when he turns his face to hers -
which is what her body wants, his eyes
pulled open, as if she had bitten -
she does reach out and bite him, on the shoulder
not hard, but with the power infants have
over those who have borne them, tied as they are
to the body, and so, tied to the pleasure,
the exquisite pain of this world.
And when she lifts her face he sees
where she’s gone, knows she can’t speak
is traveling toward something essential,
toward the core of her need, so he simply
watches, steadily, with an animal calm
as she arches and screams, watches the face that,
if she could see it, she would never let him see it

Oof

Posted in Day-to-Day with tags , , on July 17, 2009 by killinggame

Couldn’t get any stiffer so I gulped 3 glasses of water, popped 2 advil and did an hour Nia dance routine.

Nia is interesting, it’s couched in New Age terminology but incorporates a lot into it: freeform, intense cardio, martial arts.  It works EVERY muscle, fingertips to toes.  It’s the most intense dance routine I do.  I got about 3/4 of the way through and my legs collapsed…guess I shouldn’t have used quite so much force in those blocks and high kicks.  Maybe should have used a gentler routine because now my muscles are like jelly and still kind of stiff.  Oy!

I’m determined to get healthier and back in shape though.  I’ll be running up the Grouse Grind (BRUTAL hike) by the end of the summer :)

Only 2 things make you sweat like Niagara falls…intense dancing and a long night of really really hot sex.  Since I can’t have the sex, guess the dancing will have to do for now ;)

*faceplant*

*whimper*

Posted in Day-to-Day on July 17, 2009 by killinggame

My body feels like it’s been run over by a semi from tumbling down that cliff face yesterday.  I’m so stiff I can barely move.  And I forgot to reapply sunscreen after swimming so I’m burned all over the place.  Anyone want to come give me an oil massage?  *bats eyelashes*

Poetry

Posted in Uncategorized on July 16, 2009 by killinggame

Is this song that I hear through the wind in the trees
Some message from the the Universe is It talking to me?

The most difficult part of this journey I’ve made
Has been the expression of live as I’ve played
Ever the fool or the wise man’s trade.

Footstep by footstep mark lines on a page,
over the rounds of war and peace;
Obvious choices of words from the sage
tell in the final poetic release.

Suffering, happiness, laughter and tears,
told in free form or the rhythm of rhyme,
evolve from a feeling whose essence is clear,
painstakingly etched in the language of time.

Of all the emotions and feelings I’ve known,
first came love, then came the poem.

My soul is a happy, creative bright drop
of love in the ocean of the Universe, and,
using expression, it climbs to the top,
leaving poems on the path that it treads.

To Love the Night

Posted in Poetry on July 16, 2009 by killinggame

To Love The Night

Night’s cool hands shall brush your face
Close you in a dark embrace;
Drowning deep in dark desires;
Your soul lit by passion’s fires
Lay you down on a midnight bower,
You’ll feel the reach of darkness’ power,
Soaring fast on passions storm,
From light to dark you are reborn.

I am a creature of the night,
Of raven’s wings, of frozen flight;
To love me is to forsake the light

Mrown

Posted in Poetry, sex on July 16, 2009 by killinggame

I want to be beneath you…

feeling your warm hands caress my body

gently touching and stroking

your face close to mine

your hot sweet breath washing over me

your soft lips touching mine

running my hands down your back

feeling your skin move and shiver under my touch

feeling you deep inside me…

moving gently, touching my soul

gazing into your eyes and losing myself there…

becoming one

Must have……

Posted in sex on July 16, 2009 by killinggame

sex sex sex sex sex sex sex SEX! It’s been forever!  I’m about to explode!  I’m prowling around like a cat in heat!

I want rose petals and hot oil and body worship and I want barely making it in the door before I’m  slammed up against the wall and in the ocean and in the woods and every room of my apartment and the shower and to be played like a violin over and over and over until I can’t see straight and soft loving kisses and animalistic scratches growls and scratches and bites and need need need need need.  *GROWL*

Taking care of *ahem* myself just makes it worse and one night stands aren’t an option.  Morals and all that and besides they are always awkward and unsatisfying.

Only one person in my life has ever fully satisfied me sexually and he’s all the bloody way in CHICAGO.

AARRRGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Is it possible to spontaneously combust from sexual frustration?