Closure
This is something a friend on Facebook wrote, and something I’m really struggling with right now.
To fully experience authentic closure, several things must occur:
Remember that closure is not necessarily the call to end the relationship. Closure is the call to end the dynamics that do not serve you in the relationship.
Recognize what you have learned from your interactions with the person with whom you seek closure. Make a list of all that this relationship has shown you.
Let go of two negative needs: the need for the other person to give you anything, and the need to understand that person; as both of those needs will keep you going back for more.
Consider that someone not giving you what you think you need from them is the answer to your prayers. In a perfectly evolving universe, if they should have given you something specific…they would have! Beyond that, if another were to give you what you thought you needed from them, you would never know how powerfully you could meet your own needs.
Use what you believe you need from another as the launch point that will lead to clarity. After you recognize your perceived needs, find creative and inspiring ways to give those things to yourself. You have everything required to meet your own needs.
Trust that you have all of the information that you need at this time, and that any information you still need will be revealed. The only way that you are not guaranteed to experience closure is by making someone else responsible for it.
Embrace what you resist. When you try to ignore, run from, or push away what you are attracting, you strengthen its pull towards you. Remember that nothing disappears – it merely transforms.
Feel your feelings: Your feelings are all valid. They are only energy. Your feelings provide you with messages from your spirit. Embrace them and release them. They are your responsibility to process.
Find your peace in knowing that you have said all that you could say and you have done all you could do. Most importantly, align with the understanding that you are saying what you need to say for yourself and taking inspired actions so that you can move forward. Often this type of sharing does not need to happen with the other person involved. I choose to share this with my counselor and my Angels, and do not share it with any other until I am in a place of clarity within myself.
Love Yourself! One way to express ‘Self-Love’ is to allow others to have their perceptions of you — without internalizing their perceptions of you. Stop trying to convince another person that you are good or that they need you. The more you try to convince them of this, the less they will agree with you.
Have boundaries. After you complete any unfinished business that you were accountable for, realize that you do not owe this person anything. You do not need to talk to them, you do not need to answer their calls and you do not need to take care of them. Allow this person to receive the consequences of their choices. Let go of the need to know their answers.
Decide if you want to be right or if you want to learn the lesson. If you attach solely to being right, you lose sight of the opportunity being presented to you and tend to re-experience it again and again — until you are willing to see the truth.
Channel your regrets. Regret is an energy that clearly shows you the negative consequences of your past choices. You cannot change your past choices, but you can learn from them and choose differently the next time.
Make a decision and have integrity with your word. There is great power that reveals itself to you when you make a decision. Ambivalence will attract ambivalence. Clarity will attract clarity. Trust will cleanse. Faith will heal. Even if you are not sure if you want your relationship to end, at least give yourself permission to fully explore why you are considering an ending. I encourage you to do this without the influence of the other person.
