Shooting Star

Posted in Uncategorized on June 18, 2015 by killinggame

The reach of my soul
extends beyond
the fortress of this flesh.
For beyond
the jeweled veil of heaven
to a place where Time and Space
explode within each other
in a quasar climax.

Here is where evening’s serenade
gathers in a whisper and a tear,
and is expressed as an echo
that resounds in the cosmos forevermore
until there are no more
ears to fill.

Continue reading

To Link or not to Link

Posted in Uncategorized on March 27, 2011 by killinggame

I very hesitantly activated the “update to Facebook” option.  I’ve always kept the 2 very separate, with no real identifying markers here on this blog.  There are people on my friends list I don’t know all that well, and I’ve always thought “geeez, if I really get into the supernatural or the whatever stuff I’m REALLY going to freak them out!”

But then yesterday I thought, “Fuck it, if it freaks them out they aren’t meant to be in my life anyways.”

We’ll see

Needs

Posted in Happy, Life, Musings, Personal, Spiritual with tags , , , , , , , , , on March 26, 2011 by killinggame

Reading the post below, the parts about having everything you need and learning that reminded me of 2 lessons I learned today.  I attended a workshop on facilitating workshops and sacred circles.

At the beginning, the facilitator did a cleansing on each of us using a rattle.  I immediately felt all my guides and totems with me SO intensely.  I got quite emotional because I haven’t had that level of connection in a long time.  Wolf is one of my guardians.  She is also the one that bites me on the ass if I’m sitting there feeling sorry for myself, if I need to move, to DO.  When she appeared to me today, she bowed down to me.  I was taking a first real step into healing and furthering my life’s purpose.  I was taking responsibility for myself.  Wolf offered me respect for that.  Thank you Wolf.

During lunch I was feeling a little vulnerable from something that had triggered me in the workshop, and had the need for a little silence and composure so I went to the Church across the street.  Now I am in no way Christian, but whenever I enter a Church I cry.  Feelings and issues erupt.  Happens like clockwork.  The religion doesn’t matter, the energy that it contains is enormous and as an empath it can be overwhelming.

This time, I didn’t really feel much.  I got a little teary-eyed but was more in awe of the beautiful cathedral and it’s stained glass windows.  So I got up to leave, when I got to the last row I turned around, and let out an inner cry of anguish and asking for help healing.  And I was told, VERY clearly, “You have everything you need inside you”.

Wow.  I stood there stunned for a minute, then broke out into a huge smile as I opened the doors and walked back out into the sunshine.

Closure

Posted in Life, Love, Musings, Personal with tags , , , on March 26, 2011 by killinggame

This is something a friend on Facebook wrote, and something I’m really struggling with right now.

To fully experience authentic closure, several things must occur:

Remember that closure is not necessarily the call to end the relationship. Closure is the call to end the dynamics that do not serve you in the relationship.

Recognize what you have learned from your interactions with the person with whom you seek closure. Make a list of all that this relationship has shown you.

Let go of two negative needs: the need for the other person to give you anything, and the need to understand that person; as both of those needs will keep you going back for more.

Consider that someone not giving you what you think you need from them is the answer to your prayers. In a perfectly evolving universe, if they should have given you something specific…they would have! Beyond that, if another were to give you what you thought you needed from them, you would never know how powerfully you could meet your own needs.

Use what you believe you need from another as the launch point that will lead to clarity. After you recognize your perceived needs, find creative and inspiring ways to give those things to yourself. You have everything required to meet your own needs.

Trust that you have all of the information that you need at this time, and that any information you still need will be revealed. The only way that you are not guaranteed to experience closure is by making someone else responsible for it.

Embrace what you resist. When you try to ignore, run from, or push away what you are attracting, you strengthen its pull towards you. Remember that nothing disappears – it merely transforms.

Feel your feelings: Your feelings are all valid. They are only energy. Your feelings provide you with messages from your spirit. Embrace them and release them. They are your responsibility to process.

Find your peace in knowing that you have said all that you could say and you have done all you could do. Most importantly, align with the understanding that you are saying what you need to say for yourself and taking inspired actions so that you can move forward. Often this type of sharing does not need to happen with the other person involved. I choose to share this with my counselor and my Angels, and do not share it with any other until I am in a place of clarity within myself.

Love Yourself! One way to express ‘Self-Love’ is to allow others to have their perceptions of you — without internalizing their perceptions of you. Stop trying to convince another person that you are good or that they need you. The more you try to convince them of this, the less they will agree with you.

Have boundaries. After you complete any unfinished business that you were accountable for, realize that you do not owe this person anything. You do not need to talk to them, you do not need to answer their calls and you do not need to take care of them. Allow this person to receive the consequences of their choices. Let go of the need to know their answers.

Decide if you want to be right or if you want to learn the lesson. If you attach solely to being right, you lose sight of the opportunity being presented to you and tend to re-experience it again and again — until you are willing to see the truth.

Channel your regrets. Regret is an energy that clearly shows you the negative consequences of your past choices. You cannot change your past choices, but you can learn from them and choose differently the next time.

Make a decision and have integrity with your word. There is great power that reveals itself to you when you make a decision. Ambivalence will attract ambivalence. Clarity will attract clarity. Trust will cleanse. Faith will heal. Even if you are not sure if you want your relationship to end, at least give yourself permission to fully explore why you are considering an ending. I encourage you to do this without the influence of the other person.

*peer*

Posted in Day-to-Day, Life with tags , , on March 26, 2011 by killinggame

*peers through the screen* hello, anyone still in there??? *poke*

Wow no posts since 2009.  That’s ok .  The entirety of 2010 was a complete and total mindfuck of which epic  proportions I’m not even going to attempt to go into.  I’m just singing “Lalalalal” and pretending the whole year got sucked into a black hole or something.

2011 is mucho better so far.  Got the hell out of North Van, moved to Kits, and I’m so much happier here.  A new start.  I’m 3 blocks from the beach, got a wonderful rescue dog named Teddy, working towards my goals.

There is still strong change on the wind though….I feel it as I feel the first true breaths of spring.  Such a strong tugging and longing inside.  A major someone or something is about to come to fruition.  I, of course, famed for having NO patience, yell at the Universe to “GET ON WITH IT ALREADY!!!”, but realize that just like the tender seeds I just planted in my very first garden I have to wait for them  to sprout and reach for the sun.

Ok ok…but could we maybe hurry it up just a wee bit?  Spritz some fertilizer on there? *nudge nudge*

Marriage

Posted in Love, Musings with tags , , on December 3, 2009 by killinggame

Karley and I were talking about weddings and what style we would like.  Even though I don’t see marriage  in my future, there is that true vision that both Kagan and I had. (see other posts about crazy circumstances surrounding visions).  And as having Madeline has shown me, God laughs when we have a plan.

So for fun’s sake, here is what my wedding would be:

First of all, it would be a handfasting, not a traditional ceremony.  Outside in a clearing surrounded by fir trees.  There would be chairs or guests could sprawl on the ground if they wished.  We would be bound with the ribbons and jump over the bonfire, and then it’s party time!  Big tables groaning under the weight of the delicious potluck dishes.  Lots of bonfires, jam sessions, djembes and tons of other instruments and people dancing wildly.  Just a truly free celebration of life and love.

As for me, as per the vision, I’m barefoot, to be in touch with Mother Earth and under Father Sky.  I’m wearing an empire style dress (and apparently about 5 months pregnant?!?!).  My hair is lightly tied back and falling down in curls, with a circle of wildflowers on top and my bouquet is also made up of wildflowers.

Sounds like the perfect wedding to me 🙂

testing

Posted in Uncategorized on November 11, 2009 by killinggame

testing for facebook